On Monday I received an email from my dear friend, Monica,
a very special lady I first crossed paths with in the fall of 2010.
Facing similar challenges, Monica and I found the gift of friendship
after meeting on an internet medical support forum. Since that time,
we have become sisters of the soul… And, for this, I’m so grateful.
After admiring Resa’s spectacular masterpiece art-gown Blue Venus this weekend,
Monica sent me a wonderful poem she composed, explaining
that she was inspired by the stunning gown, combined with
the spirit she envisioned I would wear it.
I am deeply touched by her graceful heart, and
wanted to share her poetic healing words with each of you today.
Paired with a shadow self-portrait, please enjoy this 3rd level
of artistic inspiration born of Resa’s Blue Venus;
Truly captivating verse, crafted by a very
talented poetess, and
With so much Love
Wrapped in clouds and sky
her footfall gentle on the sand
eyes shining with bravery
trailing tranquility in her wake.
Garbed in shimmering blue
Grecian goddess dancing
with iridescent fish from the sea
to the melody of hope and love.
Floating in sapphire silk,
singing to the ocean and stars
the wind answers back
as she walks like the night, in beauty.
Depth of Reflection
Shimmering: Goddess and Ghost
Green Eyes See Past Glass
Click here to read my brief ~ Healing Journey ~ update
deep in the
I want to let everyone know that I will be leaving town this weekend for an undefined period of time. I will be flying to another state to consult with a medical professional in order to determine whether I might benefit from working with him privately on a very specific functional training program he developed, in efforts to help stabilize my joints, and better hold them in their sockets.
It is past the 2 year mark now, since my bilateral hip surgeries ( arthroscopic repair of labrum tears and bone impingement). I have done all humanly possible to recover from this surgery , and regain some degree of normal function, but my situation continues to worsen, and the pain remains unrelenting.
As an update to My Story which I wrote about a year ago… it was recently determined that I have congenitally shallow anterior hip sockets (hip dysplasia) in addition to very loose ligaments (body-wide). Thus this last surgery in which my bone was carved, and joint capsule violated in order to do the repairs mentioned, did not serve me, and has seemingly rendered my joints more unstable.
I hope that I will be a candidate for this specialized training program with a functional movement expert I have sought out personally, and have great faith in. Through dedication and hard work, I’m hoping to develop even greater body awareness, and gain enhanced neuromuscular control of my ball/socket joints, increasing stability and reducing pain. As you might imagine, I am trying desperately to avoid further surgeries, which the experts warn, offer “no guarantees”.
Although I may be away for several weeks now, I hope to have internet, and my wireless devices handy, and will keep a good eye on everyone here ~ reading posts as much as possible, and hopefully posting some too.
Sending much Love and Light to all of you,
who have been, and continue to be
such an incredible source of strength
and inspiration in my life.
Just when you
Feeling Waters Fall
Porcelain Vessel of Tears
Faithful Flame: Endure
Through The Healing Lens
of this special couple
I am delighted to introduce you to a most remarkable couple, Rachel and Bill, featured in the stunning image above. I was mesmerized by this photo when I first viewed it, and asked Rachel if I might display it in a post, and share her heartwarming story with my readers and friends here. She was honored.
Rachel and Bill met September 9, 2010 on a Facebook online support forum consisting of a group of patients coping with hip dysfunction, pain and surgical decisions. Slowly, and in spite of their respective pain and struggle, they discovered a magical connection across 800 miles. There were four months of letters before they met; And then, through the stressful rigors of surgery and a lengthy difficult rehabilitation, they became each other’s support, encouragement, motivation and hope. Their story is a beautiful testament to the fact that, every now and then, love shows up where we least expect it… and can, literally, change worlds. “He is my angel” were Rachel’s words to me this morning, after thanking me for seeing the magic, not only in this image, but in their love story.
I will never forget when I met Rachel on this same support forum, and we first chatted about our ongoing mission to overcome the hip problems and pain…we compared rehab strategies and surgical experiences. It was then that she told me of her new blossoming romance with Bill, one that was born of both physical pain and emotional challenge. I was deeply moved and uplifted, and now, I am doubly delighted to include each of you in the celebration, and beautiful spirit of their history.
With great joy, I dedicate this post to the beautiful union of Rachel and Bill.
They were blissfully married on September 8, 2012 .
Their story of love, healing and inspiration
has touched many lives.
Blessings and Love to them
“I stay in the realm of realism,
but always carry with me the fantasy,
the romance, the wish fulfillment–
the poetry of hope.”
The Body Broken
During the last 2 decades I’ve read most everything I could find to help me make sense of my unexpected plight with chronic pain, and the complex medical maze that I was suddenly thrust into as a young mother at age 30. During a particularly difficult time several years ago, I read a book entitled, The Body Broken, by Lynne Greenberg. This book had a profound impact on my outlook, and my approach to life.
Lynne’s book is a lyrical memoir, written by a talented writer, sensitive soul and professor of literature who faced, quite similarly to me, a world that suddenly ‘changed on a dime’. I would recommend this book to everyone. It is a literary treasure, and poetic masterpiece that speaks honestly and directly to the plight of facing adversity, and discovering courage to reinvent a joyful life in the face of challenge, and physical pain that is not easily remedied. Lynne taught me a great deal by her noble example, and for this I am grateful and honored to share her work.
I invite you to take a few moments here to view this video clip of a brief interview with Lynne (aired on ABC with Diane Sawyer). It will provide you a flavor for her wonderful book, and also introduce you to the brave, beautiful and creative spirit that she is.
click here: Living With Chronic Pain | Video – ABC News
Much Love Always
As we stand before
will you choose
“I choose the lens
I may sparkle
the golden rays of
“Can you tell me more
about this lens
how to dance
You gaze at me,
with a most
“Ahhh, but tell me,
lens to call
“Oh yes, Oh yes!
in a low
“but this wonderful
“I choose the lens
that guides me
so that I
© Robyn Lee
Upon Silver Wings
Ambiguous Blue Brilliance
Through Windows of Hope
round – and – round she twirls
dreamer spinning fairy tales
we came spinning
out of nothingness
the stars made a circle
and in the middle
the wheel of heaven
like a mill
if you grab a spoke
it will tear your hand off
turning and turning
were that wheel not in love
it would cry
“enough! how long this turning?”
beggars circle tables
dogs circle carrion
the lover circles
his own heart
I circle shame
a ruined water wheel
whichever way I turn
is the river
if that rusty old sky
creaks to a stop
still, still I turn
and it is only God
Autumn hues adorn
Rusted gold magnetic charm
© Robyn Lee
Brilliant steel potentiality:
Calling me forth, like a
Magnetic portal to
A new place
Arched over blue expanse of
Liquid fire mystery;
Heartfelt thanks to guest photographer, my dear Aunt Renée who honored me by allowing me to feature her stunning image in my post today. I admired this new photo on her Facebook page earlier, and it inspired me to write the poetic verse above. She captured this beautiful shot in Astoria Park NY, beneath the 2 bridges pictured (Hell Gate Bridge and Triborough Bridge ).
I think a new hobby may be calling her forth ~ don’t you?!
Thank you Aunt Renée ~ I Love You
Glistening feather lands
Upon moist crystalized sand
Hope is born again
To view another image in this series, and learn more on multi-cultural symbolism associated with feathers
click here: Symbolic meaning of feathers
“Facing blue waves of uncertainty,
I place my hand on my heart
to honor the sea
Please enjoy this excerpt
from Renee Robinson’s
wonderful poem entitled:
Rainbow Of Souls
The tide washing in
The tide washing out
The current a powerful force
Living in the rhythm of the sea
Alive and breathing
She welcomes me
Standing on a cliff
Way up high
The sea beneath me
Her mist salting my tongue
Her breeze exploring my hair
Imprints in the sand
Her breath, we share
I hear her voice
In the sea air
She calls my name
I hear her heartbeat
Crashing on the rocks
I see her there
I dive in her waters
Within the splashing
I love the sea
I was made for her
She was made for me
She is the past
And the future
She is history
The stories she tells
The treasures hidden
All part of her destiny
Alive and breathing
Living in the rhythm of the sea
by, Renee Robinson
“…for with each dawn,
she found new hope that someday,
her dreams of happiness would come true.”
Walt Disney, 1950
I am most delighted to invite you to enjoy this wonderful poem by fellow blogger, Julie Catherine, entitled Sonnet Sequence: On Cinderella « . Julie and I agree that, together, the posts make a lovely collaboration of image and words.
You can also view Julie’s poem alongside my image here: Sonnet Sequence: On Cinderella, by~Julie Catherine
Thank you Julie, and Much Love to all!
~ Robyn Lee
When sweet temptation stares you down
Do not despair for you have found;
That sacred place dwelled deep inside
Where vital sparks of you reside
“Doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is one element of faith.”
~ Paul Tillich
Heading back to New York City for a few days to have the mri and spinal procedure that was scheduled two weeks ago (see: Release « THROUGH THE HEALING LENS).
Anticipation and anxiety have been tormenting my soul these last few weeks. I think two weeks was too long to expect me to keep “releasing” the questions that linger and haunt. I haven’t had my spine mucked with in a few years… and over the past 19, have been poked, prodded, carved and dissected, without resolve more times than I care to remember. Why are we back to the spine again when so many experts assured me just 16 months ago the issue was my hip that needed carving? And why did that hip surgery result in worse pain and dysfunction? Seems like lots of guess-work taking place, and this all makes my head churn.
So… here I am, trying to find my optimism, but I confess…facing some pretty gloomy shadows of doubt. I am working to let go of the questions and have faith, but am having a tough time given the pain levels I’ve been living.
Nevertheless, there are some very important life-occasions coming up around here (namely my daughter’s college graduation in Boston entailing travel and exciting ceremonies, celebrations~so proud of that kid!! I really want to be there for her, and be a part of it all (for me), and thus, agreed to the upcoming medical experiments to try to get the pain levels reduced enough to allow me to join in on the good stuff ahead. Unfortunately, I have no rescue medication to turn to, as my body completely rejects narcotic pain drugs which produce severe spasm of my bile ducts (more painful than a long drawn out heart attack). Even more the reason I’m really needing this spine procedure to buy me some pain relief.
And so, I’m attempting to confront the doubts and fears, and conjure up some serious faith for my journey. Was happy to stumble on Tillich’s quote above, as it made me aware that doubt and faith may indeed be interconnected.
Hoping that this procedure will lead to a revelation of sorts, and at least get me into a mode of higher functioning so I can participate in the festivities, and perhaps even gain insight as to what structures are causing the worst of my pain. If it works well, I’m hoping I can be more aggressive with my rehab program and, of course, take on more adventurous blog photo shoots!
Thanks for everyone’s good energy blown my way on this one. I can feel it, and truly do appreciate.
Farewell for now…. sorry will be at least a few days before I can post again… but in the meantime
wishing all of you good things while I’m away!
Much Love ~ Robyn Lee
“I suppose that’s the secret, if you’re ever wishing for things to go back to the way they were. You just have to look up.”
~ Lauren Oliver