Reflecting: On You
In
the
dawn
.
of
my
quest
~
I
take
pause
.
and
assess;
~
All
the
light
.
I
have
known
~
in
this
sphere
.
I
call
home;
~
It’s
your
.
unyielding
grace
~
like
a
.
sea
of
embrace;
~
Sharing
beauty
.
and
song
~
Lending
hope
.
ever
strong;
~
Now
I
stop
.
and
reflect
~
Waves
of
.
love
.
and
respect;
~
Knowing
.
while
we’re
apart
~
in
your
hands
.
rests
my
heart.
~
©Robyn Lee
To YOU: my precious friends,
Do not worry — I promise to return as soon as I can! The time has come for me to embark on more in-depth medical explorations. It has been nearly 3 years since having undergone bilateral hip surgeries gone wrong. I have since learned that my hip sockets were extremely shallow from the start, and having a very flexible body-type, the surgery designed to repair my labrum and eliminate impingement by shaving bone, only served to make my hips more unstable.
Although I have given my all to an extensive program of strength and movement training, and conservative healing in every possible sense, I continue to experience progressive severe and constant daily pain and ongoing hip dislocation.
Unfortunately, I spend the majority of my waking hours exercising (non-weight bearing), and manipulating…trying to persuade my femur to stay its very shallow, unstable hip socket (I have no bone covering the front and side of my femoral head, and a labrum that is detached again). I spend a lot of time on the floor!
I truly hoped to avoid this next leg of my journey, as I would so much rather spend my time at the beach and here with you! Nonetheless, even as I have achieved optimum strength and fitness, obtaining glutes of steel, and legs appearing fit enough to run races, I cannot go on living with this level of pain and functional limitation on a daily basis. The simple acts of walking, and sitting in a chair elevate my pain to levels I won’t even try to describe. Thankfully I have been able to continue my biking and mat routines, squatting etc. The truth is, I love life way too much, and want to participate in ALL of it.
I am scheduled to undergo several specialized tests this week at an esteemed orthopedic hospital in NYC, and will be consulting with surgeons and specialists over the next few months in an attempt to formulate a sound plan of action for my complex case. In the meantime, I will be posting on my blog less often, but will do my best to continue visiting all of yours, and providing updates whenever I can.
Please know how much you all mean to me … your love and support has been a true lifeline over the past two years. I am not sure how I could have survived this challenge without all of you incredible souls. Deep Thanks ~ and loving wishes always.
With all my heart,
Robyn
Blue Venus II
Waves
of
inspiration
flow
from
hearts
that
love
~
On Monday I received an email from my dear friend, Monica,
a very special lady I first crossed paths with in the fall of 2010.
Facing similar challenges, Monica and I found the gift of friendship
after meeting on an internet medical support forum. Since that time,
we have become sisters of the soul… And, for this, I’m so grateful.
After admiring Resa’s spectacular masterpiece art-gown Blue Venus this weekend,
Monica sent me a wonderful poem she composed, explaining
that she was inspired by the stunning gown, combined with
the spirit she envisioned I would wear it.
I am deeply touched by her graceful heart, and
wanted to share her poetic healing words with each of you today.
Paired with a shadow self-portrait, please enjoy this 3rd level
of artistic inspiration born of Resa’s Blue Venus;
Truly captivating verse, crafted by a very
talented poetess, and
beautiful friend.
Thank you
Monica!
With so much Love
~
Robyn Lee
~
Wrapped in clouds and sky
her footfall gentle on the sand
eyes shining with bravery
trailing tranquility in her wake.
~
Garbed in shimmering blue
Grecian goddess dancing
with iridescent fish from the sea
to the melody of hope and love.
~
Floating in sapphire silk,
singing to the ocean and stars
the wind answers back
as she walks like the night, in beauty.
~
©Monica
Mirror Mirror
Depth of Reflection
Shimmering: Goddess and Ghost
Green Eyes See Past Glass
Click here to read my brief ~ Healing Journey ~ update
Cast Ashore
where
debris
drifts ashore
~
forming
edges
and lines;
~
where
memories
tumble
~
and
hope
is
defined;
~
where
lovers
have
lingered
~
and
faith
has been
born;
~
where
sun’s
tender kiss
~
precedes
hurricane’s
scorn;
~
where
wind
swirls
its
promise;
~
embodied
deep in the
grain,
~
sculptures
of
life
grow
~
amidst
shadows
of
pain.
~
©Robyn Lee
I want to let everyone know that I will be leaving town this weekend for an undefined period of time. I will be flying to another state to consult with a medical professional in order to determine whether I might benefit from working with him privately on a very specific functional training program he developed, in efforts to help stabilize my joints, and better hold them in their sockets.
It is past the 2 year mark now, since my bilateral hip surgeries ( arthroscopic repair of labrum tears and bone impingement). I have done all humanly possible to recover from this surgery , and regain some degree of normal function, but my situation continues to worsen, and the pain remains unrelenting.
As an update to My Story which I wrote about a year ago… it was recently determined that I have congenitally shallow anterior hip sockets (hip dysplasia) in addition to very loose ligaments (body-wide). Thus this last surgery in which my bone was carved, and joint capsule violated in order to do the repairs mentioned, did not serve me, and has seemingly rendered my joints more unstable.
I hope that I will be a candidate for this specialized training program with a functional movement expert I have sought out personally, and have great faith in. Through dedication and hard work, I’m hoping to develop even greater body awareness, and gain enhanced neuromuscular control of my ball/socket joints, increasing stability and reducing pain. As you might imagine, I am trying desperately to avoid further surgeries, which the experts warn, offer “no guarantees”.
Although I may be away for several weeks now, I hope to have internet, and my wireless devices handy, and will keep a good eye on everyone here ~ reading posts as much as possible, and hopefully posting some too.
Sending much Love and Light to all of you,
who have been, and continue to be
such an incredible source of strength
and inspiration in my life.
~
Robyn Lee
Just When You…
Just when you
believed
you
knew
~
the
beauty;
the
magic;
the
rapture;
of
our
brilliant
winter
sun
setting herself
over
the
eager
majestic
sea;
~
you
suddenly
realize
that,
in
essence,
~
you
know
~
nothing
at
all.
©Robyn Lee
When Love Heals
Every
now
and then
~
love
stops
everything:
~
the
noise
~
the
chaos
~
the
pain;
~
Every
now
and then
~
love
shines
its
wondrous
light
on
~
even
the
darkest
corners
~
through
~
the
fear
~
the
loneliness
~
the
struggle;
~
Every
now
and then
~
love
surprises
us
~
with
something
rich
~
something
magnificent
~
something
extraordinary;
~
And
~
Every
now
and then
~
Love
shows us
~
its
astonishing
power
~
to
Heal.
~
©Robyn Lee
A Look
Through The Healing Lens
of this special couple
I am delighted to introduce you to a most remarkable couple, Rachel and Bill, featured in the stunning image above. I was mesmerized by this photo when I first viewed it, and asked Rachel if I might display it in a post, and share her heartwarming story with my readers and friends here. She was honored.
Rachel and Bill met September 9, 2010 on a Facebook online support forum consisting of a group of patients coping with hip dysfunction, pain and surgical decisions. Slowly, and in spite of their respective pain and struggle, they discovered a magical connection across 800 miles. There were four months of letters before they met; And then, through the stressful rigors of surgery and a lengthy difficult rehabilitation, they became each other’s support, encouragement, motivation and hope. Their story is a beautiful testament to the fact that, every now and then, love shows up where we least expect it… and can, literally, change worlds. “He is my angel” were Rachel’s words to me this morning, after thanking me for seeing the magic, not only in this image, but in their love story.
I will never forget when I met Rachel on this same support forum, and we first chatted about our ongoing mission to overcome the hip problems and pain…we compared rehab strategies and surgical experiences. It was then that she told me of her new blossoming romance with Bill, one that was born of both physical pain and emotional challenge. I was deeply moved and uplifted, and now, I am doubly delighted to include each of you in the celebration, and beautiful spirit of their history.
With great joy, I dedicate this post to the beautiful union of Rachel and Bill.
They were blissfully married on September 8, 2012 .
Their story of love, healing and inspiration
has touched many lives.
Blessings and Love to them
Always!
~
Robyn Lee
Poetry Of Hope
“I stay in the realm of realism,
but always carry with me the fantasy,
the romance, the wish fulfillment–
the poetry of hope.”
~~~
Lynne Greenerg
The Body Broken
During the last 2 decades I’ve read most everything I could find to help me make sense of my unexpected plight with chronic pain, and the complex medical maze that I was suddenly thrust into as a young mother at age 30. During a particularly difficult time several years ago, I read a book entitled, The Body Broken, by Lynne Greenberg. This book had a profound impact on my outlook, and my approach to life.
Lynne’s book is a lyrical memoir, written by a talented writer, sensitive soul and professor of literature who faced, quite similarly to me, a world that suddenly ‘changed on a dime’. I would recommend this book to everyone. It is a literary treasure, and poetic masterpiece that speaks honestly and directly to the plight of facing adversity, and discovering courage to reinvent a joyful life in the face of challenge, and physical pain that is not easily remedied. Lynne taught me a great deal by her noble example, and for this I am grateful and honored to share her work.
I invite you to take a few moments here to view this video clip of a brief interview with Lynne (aired on ABC with Diane Sawyer). It will provide you a flavor for her wonderful book, and also introduce you to the brave, beautiful and creative spirit that she is.
click here: Living With Chronic Pain | Video – ABC News
Much Love Always
~
Robyn Lee
My Lens
As we stand before
the garden
so
lush
~
you
ask:
“Which lens
will you choose
to view
the world?”
~
Without hesitation,
I reply:
“I choose the lens
that
illuminates
the sky…
so
I may sparkle
amongst the
evening
stars,
and
slide down
the golden rays of
morning
sun.”
~
Approvingly,
you nod,
and
query:
“Can you tell me more
about this lens
you
long for?”
~
I exclaim:
“I wish
for
this lens
to
enlighten,
and
show me
how to dance
with trees,
as they
sway
to
and
fro
with
reverence
for
wind’s most
soulful
song.”
~
You gaze at me,
with a most
curious stare,
and say:
“Ahhh, but tell me,
can you
even
find
such a
lens to call
your own?”
~
I pause,
and
wistfully
declare:
“Oh yes, Oh yes!
I will
find
this lens;
This looking
glass
that
inspires
my fingers
~
to
touch
the delicate
silken petals
of
even the
smallest
flower,
and
to
explore
the deepest
lines
ingrained
on
earth’s fallen
leaves.”
~
You sigh,
seemingly
satisfied,
“Hmm,”
you say,
in a low
contemplative
tone,
“but this wonderful
lens you
speak of…
tell me
of
the most
perfect
vision
it
will
ultimately
reveal.“
~
And then,
I smile,
slowly closing
my
hopeful eyes,
and
profess:
“I choose the lens
that guides me
gently…
through
the open
doors
of
my own
heart,
so that I
can
see
~
with perfect
precision
and
clarity
~
every
glorious
color
of
~
Your
Love.”
~
© Robyn Lee
She Spins
round – and – round she twirls
dreamer spinning fairy tales
orbiting wonder
~~~
we came spinning
out of nothingness
scattering stars
like dust
the stars made a circle
and in the middle
we dance
the wheel of heaven
circles God
like a mill
if you grab a spoke
it will tear your hand off
turning and turning
it sunders
all attachment
were that wheel not in love
it would cry
“enough! how long this turning?”
every atom
turns bewildered
beggars circle tables
dogs circle carrion
the lover circles
his own heart
ashamed,
I circle shame
a ruined water wheel
whichever way I turn
is the river
if that rusty old sky
creaks to a stop
still, still I turn
and it is only God
circling Himself
~Rumi~
Portals
Brilliant steel potentiality:
Calling me forth, like a
Magnetic portal to
A new place
and time;
Arched over blue expanse of
Liquid fire mystery;
Connecting
What is:
to what
can
be.
~
©Robyn Lee
~~~
Heartfelt thanks to guest photographer, my dear Aunt Renée who honored me by allowing me to feature her stunning image in my post today. I admired this new photo on her Facebook page earlier, and it inspired me to write the poetic verse above. She captured this beautiful shot in Astoria Park NY, beneath the 2 bridges pictured (Hell Gate Bridge and Triborough Bridge ).
I think a new hobby may be calling her forth ~ don’t you?!
Thank you Aunt Renée ~ I Love You
A Feather Falls
Glistening feather lands
Upon moist crystalized sand
Hope is born again
©Robyn Lee
To view another image in this series, and learn more on multi-cultural symbolism associated with feathers
click here: Symbolic meaning of feathers
Sea Within
“Facing blue waves of uncertainty,
I place my hand on my heart
to honor the sea
in me.”
~~~
Robyn Lee
Please enjoy this excerpt
from Renee Robinson’s
wonderful poem entitled:
Rainbow Of Souls
~~~
The tide washing in
The tide washing out
The current a powerful force
Living in the rhythm of the sea
Alive and breathing
She welcomes me
Standing on a cliff
Way up high
The sea beneath me
Her mist salting my tongue
Her breeze exploring my hair
Imprints in the sand
Her breath, we share
I hear her voice
In the sea air
She calls my name
I hear her heartbeat
Crashing on the rocks
I see her there
I dive in her waters
Within the splashing
Aftershock
I love the sea
I was made for her
Or maybe
She was made for me
She is the past
The present
And the future
She is history
Mystery and
Eternity
The stories she tells
The treasures hidden
All part of her destiny
Alive and breathing
Living in the rhythm of the sea
~~~~
by, Renee Robinson
Warm thanks to Renee Robinson of Nae’s Nest | Dancing With Cancer & Other Writings for permission
to feature the 1st verse of her enchanting poem, Rainbow Of Souls, today with my featured image.
Much Love,
Robyn Lee
