On the deserted beach
I walk with a pain shadow.
Hip searing with each step
I move forward slowly.
My joint tears away.
A sharp arrow pierces through me.
I stop to find stillness yet the
pain shadow follows.
Gazing into the ocean,
I inhale deeply
then exhale with force
trying to release the pain.
But it won’t let go.
I must abandon this pain shadow.
This constant companion.
This unwelcome thing.
That has attached itself to me.
19 years of unrelenting pain.
Countless attempts to escape
to normal days, when the beach
meant walks and waves; picnics and laughter.
I climb the wooden stairs to look down
on the wide expanse of shoreline.
In pain I stand tall above the sprawling
desolate beach that goes on forever.
I envision myself burying the pain shadow
beneath the sandy surface,
deep in a restrictive dark hole
where it can no longer define my world.
And in that moment I am free.
©Robyn Lee: March 2012
recently selected for exhibit in the gallery Escape From Pain – PainExhibit.org
I am honored to announce that the above artistic photograph and accompanying prose poem has been selected for gallery inclusion at PainExhibit.org | A California Non-Profit Art Exhibit. PainExhibit.org is an educational, visual arts exhibit by artists with chronic pain . The global not-for- profit organization is dedicated to creating awareness amongst healthcare providers and the public about chronic pain through art, and to give voice to the many who suffer in silence. I learned about this organization after reading an article in the NY Times featuring the organization and its mission. Here is a link to the article Pain as an Art Form – NYTimes.com. Immediately I felt aligned with the goals and intention of this organization, and was moved by the works shared at the exhibit.
My Pain Shadow (above) was an early post that I published about a year ago. It was the 2nd piece in my blog’s Pain Shadow Series, and the first poetic/prose piece I wrote that reflected my innermost feelings about living the past 19+ years with severe chronic pain and health challenge. As someone who has always done her best to bring as little attention as possible to her dilemma, I confess, this was a difficult piece to share publicly. At the same time, I now realize it was also a transformational experience for me; By creating art, and opening my heart to others about this isolating and life-altering plight , I quickly learned how beauty and art can be born of pain…how this art can inspire compassion, and can heal both artist and viewer.
After some encouragement by a dear friend, I submitted my work last winter to PainExhibit.org. I’d nearly forgotten about the submission, when several months later, I was notified that my entry was indeed accepted, and would be included in the collection of art displayed at the gallery entitled: Escape From Pain. Please visit PainExhibit.org to learn more about this unique exhibit, and explore a variety of amazing works in the various galleries housed there. I am extremely proud and honored to be a part of this collection, and the organization’s important mission.
Pain, especially when chronic, is a very difficult subject to understand and embrace. Often pain cannot be seen, and it is nearly impossible to articulate. Quite frankly, it is an isolating and frightening place to be. Art, whether it be through written word, painting, sculpture, photography, music or other, offers a powerful vehicle for universal expression and transformation. Pain channeled through the creative process allows both the artist and the observer a meaningful and deep connection, one that speaks directly to the heart of the human experience.
With my whole heart, I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you who follow and support me, and my blog work. Over the last year, this sacred space has become such an important part of my life, and of my healing path. Always know how much your friendship, love and support of my artistic endeavors means to me. Each of you have touched me, and enriched my world through your presence and appreciation, and for this I am so grateful.
Much Love ~
“I stay in the realm of realism,
but always carry with me the fantasy,
the romance, the wish fulfillment–
the poetry of hope.”
The Body Broken
During the last 2 decades I’ve read most everything I could find to help me make sense of my unexpected plight with chronic pain, and the complex medical maze that I was suddenly thrust into as a young mother at age 30. During a particularly difficult time several years ago, I read a book entitled, The Body Broken, by Lynne Greenberg. This book had a profound impact on my outlook, and my approach to life.
Lynne’s book is a lyrical memoir, written by a talented writer, sensitive soul and professor of literature who faced, quite similarly to me, a world that suddenly ‘changed on a dime’. I would recommend this book to everyone. It is a literary treasure, and poetic masterpiece that speaks honestly and directly to the plight of facing adversity, and discovering courage to reinvent a joyful life in the face of challenge, and physical pain that is not easily remedied. Lynne taught me a great deal by her noble example, and for this I am grateful and honored to share her work.
I invite you to take a few moments here to view this video clip of a brief interview with Lynne (aired on ABC with Diane Sawyer). It will provide you a flavor for her wonderful book, and also introduce you to the brave, beautiful and creative spirit that she is.
click here: Living With Chronic Pain | Video – ABC News
Much Love Always
“Confidence is the bond of friendship.”
So very touched that my dear friend Frances has honored me this way.
After meeting through our chronic pain challenges, and supporting one another through surgeries, we have a very special bond.
Beautiful Frances ultimately went on to replace both hips at age 40. Here is the ABC news clip featuring her story . Frances is a wonderful mom of three, and was a beloved news anchor for ABC in Raleigh, NC. She suffered a silent agony, with a most complicated case for over a decade before making her brave decision.
Much Love, Blessings and Vibrant Health to you Always Frannie!
Please click here to read a very detailed post that Frances has created detailing her entire journey:
When the going gets rough,
I light a candle, turn on some
soul-soothing music, and soak in a
hot saltwater bath.
It’s such an important ritual for me, one I return to over and over again each night.
Last night I was especially blessed to have a full moon, and mesmerizing clouds floating peacefully in my window’s view.
Today was a better day…and thus, I wanted to share.
Love & Gratitude to all~
ps: Top Tub Tune – She has the voice of an angel.
Ong Namo means: I bow to my higher self (or teacher within)…