Dark Embrace
Will You
show
me
~
your
deepest
darkest
side
~
where
roots
~
writhe
and
hide
~
where
your
selves
~
collide?
~~~
Will You
let
me
~
touch
~
the
part
of
~
you
~
that
resists
~
its
source
~
and
~
obscures
~
your
view?
~~~
Will You
meet
me
~
in
between
the
~
space
~
where
light
projects
~
Love
…
in
your
shadow’s
~
embrace.
~~~
©Robyn Lee
Freewheeling
Ride me to freedom
Spinning dreams on silver ground
Destination unknown
click here to read a short personal narrative
pertaining to this image: Freewheeling ~ narrative
Pain Shadow (on exhibit)
~
On the deserted beach
I walk with a pain shadow.
Hip searing with each step
I move forward slowly.
My joint tears away.
A sharp arrow pierces through me.
I stop to find stillness yet the
pain shadow follows.
Gazing into the ocean,
I inhale deeply
then exhale with force
trying to release the pain.
But it won’t let go.
I must abandon this pain shadow.
This constant companion.
This unwelcome thing.
That has attached itself to me.
19 years of unrelenting pain.
Countless attempts to escape
to normal days, when the beach
meant walks and waves; picnics and laughter.
I climb the wooden stairs to look down
on the wide expanse of shoreline.
In pain I stand tall above the sprawling
desolate beach that goes on forever.
I envision myself burying the pain shadow
beneath the sandy surface,
deep in a restrictive dark hole
where it can no longer define my world.
And in that moment I am free.
~
©Robyn Lee: March 2012
recently selected for exhibit in the gallery Escape From Pain – PainExhibit.org
I am honored to announce that the above artistic photograph and accompanying prose poem has been selected for gallery inclusion at PainExhibit.org | A California Non-Profit Art Exhibit. PainExhibit.org is an educational, visual arts exhibit by artists with chronic pain . The global not-for- profit organization is dedicated to creating awareness amongst healthcare providers and the public about chronic pain through art, and to give voice to the many who suffer in silence. I learned about this organization after reading an article in the NY Times featuring the organization and its mission. Here is a link to the article Pain as an Art Form – NYTimes.com. Immediately I felt aligned with the goals and intention of this organization, and was moved by the works shared at the exhibit.
My Pain Shadow (above) was an early post that I published about a year ago. It was the 2nd piece in my blog’s Pain Shadow Series, and the first poetic/prose piece I wrote that reflected my innermost feelings about living the past 19+ years with severe chronic pain and health challenge. As someone who has always done her best to bring as little attention as possible to her dilemma, I confess, this was a difficult piece to share publicly. At the same time, I now realize it was also a transformational experience for me; By creating art, and opening my heart to others about this isolating and life-altering plight , I quickly learned how beauty and art can be born of pain…how this art can inspire compassion, and can heal both artist and viewer.
After some encouragement by a dear friend, I submitted my work last winter to PainExhibit.org. I’d nearly forgotten about the submission, when several months later, I was notified that my entry was indeed accepted, and would be included in the collection of art displayed at the gallery entitled: Escape From Pain. Please visit PainExhibit.org to learn more about this unique exhibit, and explore a variety of amazing works in the various galleries housed there. I am extremely proud and honored to be a part of this collection, and the organization’s important mission.
Pain, especially when chronic, is a very difficult subject to understand and embrace. Often pain cannot be seen, and it is nearly impossible to articulate. Quite frankly, it is an isolating and frightening place to be. Art, whether it be through written word, painting, sculpture, photography, music or other, offers a powerful vehicle for universal expression and transformation. Pain channeled through the creative process allows both the artist and the observer a meaningful and deep connection, one that speaks directly to the heart of the human experience.
With my whole heart, I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you who follow and support me, and my blog work. Over the last year, this sacred space has become such an important part of my life, and of my healing path. Always know how much your friendship, love and support of my artistic endeavors means to me. Each of you have touched me, and enriched my world through your presence and appreciation, and for this I am so grateful.
Much Love ~
Robyn Lee
Trust
Falling
with
speed
~
In
a
flurry
of
need
~
Through
bleak
cloudy
skies,
~
Past
cold
empty
eyes;
~
Winds
whip
her
around
~
Till
she
nearly
hits
ground;
~
But
so
gently
she
lands
~
Into
wise
caring
hands.
~
©Robyn Lee
As I fly home from my 6 week journey, I write with a full heart. Many of you know, I am returning from Chicago, where I worked intensely with a rehabilitation specialist who I personally sought out after 2 years of struggle following unsuccessful hip surgeries, and progressive pain. My activities of daily living have been severely limited.
After being let down time and time again in my quest for help, I was in search of expert support and guidance, and wanted desperately to learn more about my mechanical dysfunctions, and train to develop the most efficient movement patterns possible to reduce pain and improve function, despite having many ‘broken parts’. I wanted to do my best to maximize my potential to participate in the joys of life again.
My commitment to this journey was a leap of faith, as over the last 20 years I have been through countless physical therapy programs, and have undergone numerous medical and surgical interventions, most always resulting in disappointment and confusion.
I can honestly say this was different, and by far the best rehabilitation training experience I’ve ever had.
I am quite certain that trusting my own intuition led me to find my way a very special healer and a unique approach.
I feel blessed to have “landed” in the hands of Dr. Evan Osar and his team. Dr. Osar is the founder of Chicago Integrative Movement Specialists. I encountered his pioneering work online watching his webinars (for professionals), and observing him demonstrate his methods in numerous video presentations. I also found additional insight in reading his books, and numerous articles. I was immediately drawn to him and his work, as it made a tremendous amount of sense to me–given my personal experience and heightened level of body awareness due to my painful condition.
Yes, It was my own “crazy” idea to contact him, and to then to temporarily relocate to the Chicago, Illinois so that I could train daily with him and his fine team. My family was initially hesitant, but eventually completely supportive, and then proud that I would undertake such a project by myself. They also came to appreciate and understand why Dr. Osar’s approach to movement-based therapy was something I needed to explore.
As I return, now six weeks later, I reflect on the wonderful experience this has been. Each day I received very focused training (1.5 hours per day and assessment along with hours of homework). I worked hard, and gained a tremendous education with respect to functional movement, respiration and joint centration, all key elements in combating my pain and increasing my ability to move most efficiently, protect my joints, muscles and tendons, and prevent further injury. I learned the power of using imagery and cues to tap into neuromuscular control I did not even know I had ~ so many amazin
g epiphanies.
I truly feel that Dr. Osar, Sara and Jenice have given me the gift of a special ‘toolbox’ filled with magical methods and techniques that I can revisit and expand upon as I continue my journey. They have also instilled in me new insight into my own body’s intelligence, that which I can call on daily for support and healing. We made great strides, and although I have a long way to go, and we can’t be certain if more surgical intervention will be necessary, I am confident that no matter where my path leads, the support and wisdom I have gained last several weeks will serve me immensely.
Perhaps most importantly, I have found in this healthcare team a restored faith and trust in the healing profession, which, until now, has let me down time and time again. I experienced wisdom, integrity and genuine caring through out my entire stay. Each day was approached with pure focused intention and integrity of spirit. I could not have asked to be in more competent hands than this, and know that my trust in Dr. Osar, Sara and Jenice was well-placed.
I am thrilled to be home now and excited to continue working hard to progress and grow with all I learned in Chicago. I plan to revisit Chicago Integrative Movement Specialists periodically, and to keep in touch with this wonderful group as I follow the comprehensive home program they provided.
Finally, allow me to express my heartfelt appreciation to each of you dear friends who have been following my blog throughout my journey these last 6 weeks. Your supportive words of encouragement and loving energies, has meant the world to me. It was so comforting to check in on your blogs while I was away, to find poetry, pictures, stories, warm messages and even a stunning art gown made in my honor :). To me it truly does feel like our WordPress community is extended family. We share a very unique and heartfelt connection in many wonderful ways… and for this I am so grateful.
Much Love and Blessings
today and always
~
Robyn Lee
Blue Venus II
Waves
of
inspiration
flow
from
hearts
that
love
~
On Monday I received an email from my dear friend, Monica,
a very special lady I first crossed paths with in the fall of 2010.
Facing similar challenges, Monica and I found the gift of friendship
after meeting on an internet medical support forum. Since that time,
we have become sisters of the soul… And, for this, I’m so grateful.
After admiring Resa’s spectacular masterpiece art-gown Blue Venus this weekend,
Monica sent me a wonderful poem she composed, explaining
that she was inspired by the stunning gown, combined with
the spirit she envisioned I would wear it.
I am deeply touched by her graceful heart, and
wanted to share her poetic healing words with each of you today.
Paired with a shadow self-portrait, please enjoy this 3rd level
of artistic inspiration born of Resa’s Blue Venus;
Truly captivating verse, crafted by a very
talented poetess, and
beautiful friend.
Thank you
Monica!
With so much Love
~
Robyn Lee
~
Wrapped in clouds and sky
her footfall gentle on the sand
eyes shining with bravery
trailing tranquility in her wake.
~
Garbed in shimmering blue
Grecian goddess dancing
with iridescent fish from the sea
to the melody of hope and love.
~
Floating in sapphire silk,
singing to the ocean and stars
the wind answers back
as she walks like the night, in beauty.
~
©Monica
Mirror Mirror
Depth of Reflection
Shimmering: Goddess and Ghost
Green Eyes See Past Glass
Click here to read my brief ~ Healing Journey ~ update
Cast Ashore
where
debris
drifts ashore
~
forming
edges
and lines;
~
where
memories
tumble
~
and
hope
is
defined;
~
where
lovers
have
lingered
~
and
faith
has been
born;
~
where
sun’s
tender kiss
~
precedes
hurricane’s
scorn;
~
where
wind
swirls
its
promise;
~
embodied
deep in the
grain,
~
sculptures
of
life
grow
~
amidst
shadows
of
pain.
~
©Robyn Lee
I want to let everyone know that I will be leaving town this weekend for an undefined period of time. I will be flying to another state to consult with a medical professional in order to determine whether I might benefit from working with him privately on a very specific functional training program he developed, in efforts to help stabilize my joints, and better hold them in their sockets.
It is past the 2 year mark now, since my bilateral hip surgeries ( arthroscopic repair of labrum tears and bone impingement). I have done all humanly possible to recover from this surgery , and regain some degree of normal function, but my situation continues to worsen, and the pain remains unrelenting.
As an update to My Story which I wrote about a year ago… it was recently determined that I have congenitally shallow anterior hip sockets (hip dysplasia) in addition to very loose ligaments (body-wide). Thus this last surgery in which my bone was carved, and joint capsule violated in order to do the repairs mentioned, did not serve me, and has seemingly rendered my joints more unstable.
I hope that I will be a candidate for this specialized training program with a functional movement expert I have sought out personally, and have great faith in. Through dedication and hard work, I’m hoping to develop even greater body awareness, and gain enhanced neuromuscular control of my ball/socket joints, increasing stability and reducing pain. As you might imagine, I am trying desperately to avoid further surgeries, which the experts warn, offer “no guarantees”.
Although I may be away for several weeks now, I hope to have internet, and my wireless devices handy, and will keep a good eye on everyone here ~ reading posts as much as possible, and hopefully posting some too.
Sending much Love and Light to all of you,
who have been, and continue to be
such an incredible source of strength
and inspiration in my life.
~
Robyn Lee
Dear Robyn …
Dear Robyn,
Today is your birthday,
and the eve
of a new year.
~
Take pause,
reflect, and be
grateful for
all the gifts of this
year past:
All
the
growth;
the
wisdom;
and
the Love.
~
Despite
your merciless
shadow
of pain;
the saddest
news headlines;
and
the most
turbulent storms;
You found
ways
to
inhale
the pure
scent of sea
and
feel the
warm touch
of
sunshine
on your cheek;
~
You sought
comfort
in the
glow
of
moonlight,
and
joy
in
bare feet
walking
over silky
sands;
~
You shared
intimate moments
with
butterflies,
and
gazed
soulfully into
the eyes of
deer.
~
This year you
were
blessed
with
inspiration
and
faith
in
love
and
friendship;
A boundless kind
of friendship… that
defies limits
of
time and space.
~
You learned
To trust your heart
and
share your words,
and your
vision;
To open your eyes
wider than they’ve ever
dared open
before;
To look confidently
through your
healing lens
and
know
that nobody
defines the sight
you behold…
except you.
~
And the gifts you have
received this year
are far richer for
having known
and welcomed
so many wonderful
kindred spirits
into your world.
~
Connecting
with
friends
of the soul
through this
magical
medium-of-technology
which somehow,
dissolves barriers
that,
too often,
divide;
~
You have witnessed
how it fosters
oneness
and
honesty;
~
artistic expression
and
passion;
~
healing
and
peace.
~
And just think,
How fortunate
are you?
To share
your own:
beach-walks
and
sunsets;
~
fantasies
and
sorrows;
~
hopes
and
fears.
~
How wondrous
to be
able
to support
and encourage
others,
and
to be
supported,
and
encouraged;
~
To
create,
and
to be
part
of another’s
creating.
~
So today give reverence and thanks
for all these wonderful
birthday gifts, and celebrate.
Smile from the deepest place in your heart;
Look forward to a hopeful new year…
and tell all of the world
how much
You
Love
~
Robyn Lee
~
Today I celebrate not only my birthday, and the beginning of a new year,
but also the milestone of nearly twelve months since joining this
remarkable blogging community… and soul family.
I feel so very grateful, and blessed to know all of you.
May this coming year bring peace, love, health
and abundant joy to
each of you.
Thank you for enriching my life.
Happy 2013!
WITH SO MUCH LOVE
~
Robyn
Poetry Of Hope
“I stay in the realm of realism,
but always carry with me the fantasy,
the romance, the wish fulfillment–
the poetry of hope.”
~~~
Lynne Greenerg
The Body Broken
During the last 2 decades I’ve read most everything I could find to help me make sense of my unexpected plight with chronic pain, and the complex medical maze that I was suddenly thrust into as a young mother at age 30. During a particularly difficult time several years ago, I read a book entitled, The Body Broken, by Lynne Greenberg. This book had a profound impact on my outlook, and my approach to life.
Lynne’s book is a lyrical memoir, written by a talented writer, sensitive soul and professor of literature who faced, quite similarly to me, a world that suddenly ‘changed on a dime’. I would recommend this book to everyone. It is a literary treasure, and poetic masterpiece that speaks honestly and directly to the plight of facing adversity, and discovering courage to reinvent a joyful life in the face of challenge, and physical pain that is not easily remedied. Lynne taught me a great deal by her noble example, and for this I am grateful and honored to share her work.
I invite you to take a few moments here to view this video clip of a brief interview with Lynne (aired on ABC with Diane Sawyer). It will provide you a flavor for her wonderful book, and also introduce you to the brave, beautiful and creative spirit that she is.
click here: Living With Chronic Pain | Video – ABC News
Much Love Always
~
Robyn Lee
The Most Famous Question…
To be,
or not to be?
That is the question—
long life.
line in Shakespeare’s soliloquy has resounded as the most famous quotation
throughout literary history, and has implications reaching
far beyond the context of Hamlet amongst our
contemporary existential thinkers.
Will You?
Will you meet me there? Beneath the muddy surface…
Where we shed our armor..remove our masks…
Where we strip down the layers;
Where we go, willingly…
to unveil our hearts’
deepest truth.
~~~
©Robyn Lee
Please allow me to share this wonderful prose poem entitled, The Invitation, by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.
It is a favorite of mine, and challenges us all to find the inspiration, the intimacy,
the courage and the commitment to live fully, every day.
The Invitation
by Oriah
…………………………..
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.
It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.
~~~
from the book: The Invitation
© Mountain Dreaming,
published by HarperONE, San Francisco, 1999 All rights reserved
Ever notice that sometimes friends show up at just the right moment…
offering encouragement and inspiration,
not by doing anything specific,
but rather, by simply
being present?Last Thursday while I was venturing out to run an errand, following a rather difficult and isolating week,
my cell- phone rang and it was Meryl… a dear long-time friend who resides in my community.
Meryl also happens to be a member of our cherished blogsphere.
We have been friends here since my mid 20s, sharing in so many important
transitional periods of each other’s lives.We decided to meet, and hang out for a bit on a comfy bench facing our favorite Lily Pond.
It was such a delight to relish in some old-fashioned “girl-power” that day–a few giggles and tears,
reflections and hugs…And as we gazed at the emerging Lilies, I shot this photo of our adjoined shadows.Later that evening, Meryl composed a heartwarming poem and created a
special post honoring our bond of friendship. I am so thrilled to share
this with each of you today.Much Love~
Robyn Lee
we worship
the water
the sun
life on
earth
two
wombs
four girls
olive eyes
bronze skin
bouncing curls
transplanted
from the east
newcomers
friendship
re-birth
power
There’s nothing like bonding with
a girlfriend. Here’s me and Robyn Lee
hanging out on a bench with some lily pads.
Yep, we go way back… when our girls were
romping (sometimes butt naked ) on the beach.
We met at a day care center… new moms and
newcomers in this breathtaking yet lonely
place…both looking for a friend.
Then life and illness got in the way.
We had rarely spoken or seen one another
for years and years until Robyn came over for tea to
celebrate my birthday this past March. That day she shared
how she had discovered photography via her new blog—
Through The Healing Lens—how it was helping her
reconnect with the world after being isolated due
to her medical challenges and chronic pain.
Ironic, since I’m a photographer yet it…
View original post 70 more words
Savasana
In
Pain
She
Wakes
~
Facing
a
New
Dawn
~
Anticipating
~
Today
Will
Be
Different.
~
In
Pain
She
Tries
~
to
Believe
Solutions
Await
~
to
Remember
~
the
Universe
~
Is
on
Her
Side.
~
In
Pain
She
Clings
~
Tightly
~
to
Faith
~
Reassuring
Herself
~
That
if
She
~
Does all
the
Right
Things
~
Follows
the
Rules
~
Holds
the
Perfect
Posture
~
Contracts
Specific
Muscles
~
At
the
Precise
Moment;
~
if
She
Trusts
~
and
Forgives
~
Nourishes
Her
Being
~
Honors
Her
Heart
~
and
~
Loves,
~
She
Will
Heal
~
and
~
Reside
in
a
~
Kind
Gentle
Body
~
Once more.
____
But
~
In
Pain
She
is
~
Struck
~
Struck
Hard
~
By
Relentless
Agony
~
By
the
Harsh
Realization
~
That
She
is
off
Center
~
Uncertain
How
She
will
Endure
~
This
Invisible
Affliction
~
Day after
Day
After
Day
~
Night after
Night
After
Night.
~
And
~~
In
Pain
She
Knows
~
That
~
On these
Days
~
When
Resistance
Has taken
its
Toll
~
All
She
Can do
is
~
Stop
~
Call
Upon
Compassion
~
Lay her
Body
Down
Flat
~
and
~
Listen
to
the
~
Cadence
of
Her
Own
~
Consoling
~
Breath.
~~~
©Robyn Lee
Thanks to all of you for being here. Please know I am hanging in,
and so grateful to have this venue to express myself creatively, even in the difficult moments.
Although, most often, I enjoy escaping into fun and fantasy through my blog-work,
I also believe an important part of my healing process is to remain honest and open with all of you.
This artistic self-portrait and poem was composed this past Tuesday.
My healing lens, tripod and pen helped me to confront
the physical pain and emotion I was facing that day, head-on.
The yogic pose I assumed for this shot, Shavasana , was unplanned,
but later held significant meaning in terms
of self-healing.
Sometimes Inspiration finds us through our courage to embrace and express where
we are at any given moment, even if it is not where we want to be.
From there we can continue our journey forward…lighter,
and with more ease, and grace.
It means a lot to me, to have such genuine friendship and support, and a safe place to turn while
I’m working through the tough times. Thanks to each of you for your sensitive presence, and shared talents,
which remind me daily that I’m so much more than the physical challenges.
I Remain Hopeful!
Much Love~
Robyn Lee
Vision Quest
Swept away
on
a
Vision Quest
~
In
The midst
of
a
Whirlwind
~
My
Rite
of
Passage
~
Delivers
me
Safely
~
To
a
Cherished
Space
~
Nature’s
Purest
Place
~
Where
~
Buried
Deep
~
Under
Golden
Grains
~
I
find
a
Treasure
~
My Lens;
~~~
Standing
Alone
~
Secure
in
Wet
Sand
~
I
Look
Through
~
And
Within
~
Seeing
From
New eyes
~
Magnified
Truth
~
Empowered
Presence
~
Illuminated
Self;
~
My
Eyes relax
and
~
Focus
Converges
on
~
All that
is
Love
~
All that
is
Me;
~
Blinded
~
From
Fear
~~
Shielded
~
From
Pain
~~
My Lens
~
Exposes
~
That
Which is
Real
~
That
Which is
Illusion
~
Altering
My
Vision
~
Eternally
~~~
©Robyn Lee
My first nature excursion in about 6 weeks!
On Friday at 4 pm I had an enchanting encounter with the sea.
A healing moment indeed.
Thanks to each of you for being so incredibly loving and supportive,
and sending me such passionate healing energies as I continue my journey.
I know they hold great power, and I love you all for the special souls you are.
~Robyn Lee
THROUGH THE HEALING LENS 
