Hope & Healing Through Photography and Poetic Expression

Trust

Falling
with
speed

~

In
a
flurry
of
need

 ~

Through
bleak
cloudy
skies,

~

Past
cold
empty
eyes;

~

Winds
whip
her
around

~

Till
she
nearly
hits
ground;

~

But
so
gently
she
lands

~

Into
wise
caring

hands.

~

©Robyn Lee

img_04481-32

As I fly home from my 6 week journey, I write with a full heart. Many of you know, I am returning from Chicago, where I worked intensely with a rehabilitation specialist who I personally sought out after 2 years of struggle following unsuccessful hip surgeries, and progressive pain. My activities of daily living have been severely limited.

After being let down time and time again in my quest for help, I was in search of expert support and guidance, and wanted desperately to learn more about my mechanical dysfunctions, and train to develop the most  efficient movement patterns possible to reduce pain and improve function, despite having many ‘broken parts’. I wanted to do my best to maximize my potential to participate in the joys of life again.

My commitment to this journey was a leap of faith, as over the last 20 years I have been through countless physical therapy programs, and have undergone numerous medical and surgical interventions, most always resulting in disappointment and confusion.

I can honestly say this was different, and by far the best rehabilitation training experience I’ve ever had.
I am quite certain that trusting my own intuition led me to find  my way a very special healer and a unique approach.

I feel blessed to have “landed” in the hands of Dr. Evan Osar and his team.  Dr. Osar is the founder of Chicago Integrative Movement Specialists.  I encountered his pioneering work online  watching his webinars (for professionals), and observing him demonstrate his methods in numerous video presentations.  I also found additional insight in reading his books, and numerous articles.  I was immediately drawn to him and his work, as it made a tremendous amount of sense to me–given my  personal experience and heightened level of body awareness due to my painful condition.

Yes, It was my own “crazy” idea to contact him, and to then to temporarily relocate to the Chicago, Illinois so that I could train daily with him and his fine team. My family was initially hesitant, but eventually completely supportive, and then proud that I would undertake such a project by myself.  They also came to appreciate and understand why Dr. Osar’s approach to movement-based therapy was something I needed to explore.

As I return, now six weeks later, I reflect on the wonderful experience this has been. Each day I received very focused training (1.5 hours per day and assessment along with hours of homework). I worked hard, and gained a tremendous education with respect to functional movement, respiration and joint centration, all key elements in combating my pain and increasing my ability to move most efficiently, protect my joints, muscles and tendons, and prevent further injury. I learned the power of using imagery and cues to tap into neuromuscular control I did not even know I had ~ so many amazinget-attachment-3-aspx3g epiphanies.

I truly feel that Dr. Osar, Sara and Jenice have given me the gift of a special ‘toolbox’ filled with magical methods and techniques that I can revisit and expand upon as I continue my journey. They have also instilled in me new insight into my own body’s intelligence,  that which I can call on daily for support and healing. We made great strides, and although I have a long way to go, and we can’t be certain if more surgical intervention will be necessary, I am confident that no matter where my path leads, the support and wisdom I have gained last several weeks will serve me immensely.
Screen_Shot_2013-03-10_at_9.32.04_PMget-attachment-6.aspx

Perhaps most importantly, I have found in this healthcare team a restored faith and trust in the healing profession, which, until now, has let me down time and time again. I experienced wisdom, integrity and genuine caring through out my entire stay. Each day was approached with pure focused intention and integrity of spirit. I could not have asked to be in more competent hands than this, and know that my trust in Dr. Osar, Sara and Jenice was well-placed.

I am thrilled to be home now and excited to continue working hard to progress and grow with all I learned in Chicago. I plan to revisit Chicago Integrative Movement Specialists periodically, and to keep in touch with this wonderful group as I follow the comprehensive home program they provided.

Finally,  allow me to express my heartfelt appreciation to each of you dear friends who have been following my blog  throughout my journey these last 6 weeks. Your supportive words of encouragement and loving energies, has meant the world to me. It was so comforting to check in on your blogs while I was away, to find poetry, pictures, stories, warm messages and even a stunning art gown made in my honor :).  To me it truly does feel like our WordPress community is extended family. We share a very unique and heartfelt connection in many wonderful ways… and for this I am so grateful.

Much Love and Blessings
today and always
~

Robyn Lee

 

119 responses

  1. I am so proud of you and your courage to seek out new options and alternatives. thank you for the report, and I hope that your health will regenerate with the rhythms of springtime! z

    March 11, 2013 at 12:27 AM

    • Thank you dear z! I so appreciate ~ yes spring is before us now 🙂 x much love to you ~RL

      March 11, 2013 at 12:50 PM

  2. So glad your back and seem excited on the progress you’ve made.. I understand that it is not an entire healing but a way of improving and combating your problem… anything that makes things easier and more bearable must feel like a real achievement… so glad for your part and I assume you now continue along with all you’ve learnt… It will be great to watch, or read, how you progress on your journey.. and it will be nice to try and pick it up in your verse and photos… love this blog…

    March 11, 2013 at 12:31 AM

    • Yes bulldog ~ and so appreciate your understanding all the intricacies of my dilemma. Trying hard to avoid more invasive surgical interventions that aren’t guaranteed to remedy my dilemma. I like feeling empowered and having more insight and ‘tools’. It’s still too soon to judge, but yes I’m feeling optimistic. Hopefully will get back into my routines soon and focussing on the blog projects too! Thank you for all you are ~ So much Love ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 12:55 PM

      • I’m glad to here of your optimism.. that can sometimes be the make or break of such routines that you must now follow… so keep being excited and I’m sure the results will follow…

        March 11, 2013 at 1:55 PM

  3. Hello Robyn, so happy to see your post and glad that you have found peace in your new treatment. Hope you progress further in your journey. Cheers, Nightlake

    March 11, 2013 at 12:33 AM

    • Thank you so much dear nightlake. Yes ~ the experience did give me a sense of peace, and more insight which I desperately needed. Thank you for your ongoing support my friend. Appreciate so much ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 12:57 PM

  4. What a wonderful story. Very inspiring and motivational. I’m glad that you’re back and that you found what you were looking for on this trip. Looking forward to continuing this journey with you. Your wordpress family loves and supports you!

    March 11, 2013 at 12:40 AM

    • Yes Lady Lovely, you have summed it up quite well ~ “what I was looking for” — exactly. I wanted more insight – a kind teacher – guidance and tools to manage my situation better. I did find all of these things… so very grateful…. Thank you so much for your love and support — yes — very much like family here is some mystical kind of way ~ amazing ~ Lots of love ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 12:59 PM

      • I’m so glad to hear that. Thanks for sharing your story. I looked into the clinic and they are doing some really amazing things. I have family in the states who I passed this beneficial post onto. Much love.

        March 11, 2013 at 1:32 PM

    • So great to know that LL – thank you! Yes – rare to find practitioners who really take a genuine interest and use non-invasive methods that are truly solid. I think Dr. Osar is more brilliant than he knows in understanding body mechanics and movement!! 🙂 ~ much Love dear one ~ RL

      March 12, 2013 at 1:18 AM

  5. oh Robyn I am happy to read you feel so optimistic about the past 6 weeks! I was afraid maybe you didn’t … I cannot type on my iPad so will return in a day or so with more and a few questions , just wanted to welcome you home with a big hug! xox

    March 11, 2013 at 12:55 AM

    • Thank you dear Linda — yes — in truth we all acknowledged this project would not likely yield a miracle cure for me, but the gift of empowerment lies in having more control and body wisdom ~ and methods to create positive change and improve pain and function. My issues are mechanical so will have to give this a good amount of time before exploring the more invasive surgical choices I may have to try to get to a better place. By all means – ask any questions you may have — always want to help – and keeping you in heart and prayer daily ~ x RL

      March 11, 2013 at 1:03 PM

      • i am so thrilled to read this. it is having control over our bodies thus our destiny that is of utmost satisfaction, methinks, and it sounds like you achieved exactly that. i do NOT want to read anything about you considering more surgery however, as in my rather extensive experience, it doesn’t do much good but more often, harm.

        i have been curious how you are treating pain especially given what you’ve just been thru. how do you manage and how did you sleep finally? i wonder if something you use might be of help to me since i know you do not use neurontin, a drug i detest but do need to use for pain and nerve pain. but it’s making me so forgetful… and know you are not using narcotics for my reasons.

        tomorrow i go to my doc who finally returned from his stupid vacation. i am so furious with him leaving me in my situation and the diverticulitis only exacerbated an already hot situation. that is, thankfully, finally calming down. i will be getting a ct scan, something i have wanted for my hips/SI joints/spine but haven’t been able to justify. but now killing 2 birds with one stone because they want to see my gut. only good thing to come out of that was that. doubting much to see in my hip/nerve area that will show up, that’s my usual experience, but it’s worth it to see what my crumbling spine is doing…

        be well, my dear and drop me an email if you feel like it. i would like to know your pain measures if there are any. and also, i hope your daughter is enjoying herself! i read back aways you won’t be able to join the family for the trip. that is so like my own experience but i felt your heart breaking in those words. i know exactly how you feel… take care of you with gentle hugs. xox

        March 11, 2013 at 7:53 PM

    • Hi Linda – so much going on here with moving back home – and now so many lovely comments to reply to but wanted quickly to tell you that Neurontin has been (and will likely continue to be) my only “go-to” drug that I can take (that or Lyrica). I am not on it now as this summer was having awful issues landed in Emergency Room with Tarsal Tunnel and could not walk at all.. and suspected N might be contribution so weaned myself off… I have been tempted to go back on – but all the brain chemistry meds really do odd things to me – so have literally been on nothing except a single muscle relaxant before bed daily (mostly to promote sleep)… My pain is far from controlled and that is pretty awful, but I rely on the breath and constant return to very specific relief positions/exercises that I’ve learned. I have a wide therapy treatment table set up in my sitting room (off bedroom) and I’m on and off that thing all day. As you know narcotics are 100% prohibited for me – -causes wicked bile duct spasm that is worse than heart-attack pain (this is a complication of having gallbladder removed- 2% – lucky me)… I go to ambien for rescue on sleepless nights (usually if i’m still up at 4)…

      Glad your doc is coming back to town — you need his support right now… Good luck with the scans… hope they can shed more light for you. Great that you can have GI and ortho included in one round of scans… hopefully reduces radiation exposure too that way…

      Let me know if I can help more in any way ~ have you been working with anyone on the physical medicine side — especially for joints and muscles… neck etc?

      Much Love and Friendship – RL

      March 12, 2013 at 1:27 AM

      • hi robyn, was just turning this off when i saw your note back. tomorrow i can answer back fully but yes to the PT… but i found it too triggering unfortunately. i have a history of abuse so it can be difficult. i plan to go back again but when i am past this present problem of solving HOW to rid myself of metal poisoning. i am scared about starting yet something else but if doc is going to be here, i’ll feel better. we’ll have THAT talk again! 🙂 i will check in again tomorrow and let you know how it goes … take care, i am glad you have learned some “moves” to help with pain,relaxation. i will need to ask what they are but perhaps that is beyond me due to lack of training. must stop here but do take care of you, my dear. much much love and peace~ linda

        March 12, 2013 at 1:33 AM

      • yes – i think the chelation has to be priority. I understand with the traumatic history that you would need to find a very specific therapist on the rehab end. Perhaps you can slowly start vetting through or interviewing some in in your area. As for the pain management for me — movement and breath are the key components. Have also found must do something to exercise my heart muscle/pump or pain escalates and autonomic symptoms get worse. We can talk about it in general sense and then someone to help design custom approach for your particular issues would be great I think… Good luck tomorrow (today) — keep me posted ~ Love to you — x RL

        March 12, 2013 at 1:12 PM

      • k, i am back but far from “tomorrow” as i had thought….life has a way, as always….
        you mentioned the autonomic nervous system and i wondered if you meant something akin to biofeedback? or is there something i am missing out on? i have a very similar problem with my hips however they do not actually slip out of joint as i think your problem points to. but i cannot seem to stop this “whatever it is” happening inside the joint. and it’s only in certain positions and/or stress-oddly i think-brings it on but then stress brings everything to a head so maybe that ‘s a moot point.

        in your photos you look beautiful, btw 🙂 and also are using an exercise ball to elevate your hips, etc. is that what you do on your table along with meditation/visualization/breath work? sorry and don’t answer here if that’s tmi for here. i am very curious if i haven’t already done some of what you’ve just experienced. i’ve been dealing with all this for so long and gone to so many different modalities, i lose track. as for the PT, actually i’ve had 3 different types and people, including internal, if you can believe that! triggering? oy vey… i didn’t know there was such a thing. i’ve done biofeedback in the same vein..haha, sometimes we have to laugh so as not to cry, right?

        ok, been on here over an hour and that’s my absolute limit. must pop off and get shower and then some glorious spring sun. spring for me is my best season, my highest energy time-wish it lasted but it won’t….heat hits and that’s about it for me til the following spring. sad but true and am trying to figure out a way to head it off this summer before the time is upon me but here it can come almost any time, something i love and hate about my native state… you’d think i’d be used to it wouldn’t you? we are odd creatures, human beans…. 🙂 love and hugs to you, sweet. xo

        March 17, 2013 at 3:19 PM

      • oops – fyi ~ I answered much of this on the other post Linda (Love’s Wings)… let me know if you have any more questions…always want to help if I can —
        So much Love ~ RL

        March 19, 2013 at 12:36 PM

      • thank you, Robyn… kind of overloaded myself just now. and with the pending disaster in japan i cannot much concentrate… i think i could learn something from what you’ve taken from your training about keeping the hips/pelvis in place and using the core instead of, for me, my torqued hips. xox

        March 19, 2013 at 2:07 PM

  6. Yeeha – I am jumping for joy, Robyn! This is wonderrful news and I love thinking of you getting better and better every day. You are beyond inspiring and I really am in awe. Make sure you keep all of us posted on your progress, even on bad days. Love Juliexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    March 11, 2013 at 2:12 AM

    • Oh Julie ~ I can envision you jumping up and down. Yes – it’s been super interesting for me — ups and downs and all-arounds but I’m feeling really good about having better insight and wisdom to manage this body better. It’s an ongoing process, and not sure where I will ultimately land – but this was all good!!! ~ so much love, R

      March 11, 2013 at 1:05 PM

  7. All very good to know. My best wishes from the heart to you for much further progress. Fondly, V.

    March 11, 2013 at 2:27 AM

    • Thank you dear Vera. I so appreciate your support and loving encouragement ~ Love and blessings to you today and always ~ RL

      March 11, 2013 at 1:07 PM

  8. Brilliant news Robyn. I am so glad that you found the right person to work with. Lets hope that the future holds so much better and less painful moments for you.

    March 11, 2013 at 3:14 AM

    • Thank you so much Alastair. Yes – -only thing better would be if I could put these guys in my suitcase and take them back to NY with me!! I am getting myself motivated to keep doing the work independently, and they have generously offered to keep in touch with me and lend support long distance too while I progress. So appreciate your support always ~ much love your way, RL

      March 11, 2013 at 2:30 PM

      • That’s brilliant news. Hopefully it will be a huge step forward … or even a huge leap forward. We are here for you Robyn

        March 11, 2013 at 2:33 PM

  9. What excellent and inspiring updates Robyn! I am so happy to see you here radiant, well and beautiful! May this be the turning point to wellness and everything you have ever held close to your heart! Sending this to you with all my love, hugs, happiness and a shower of blessings!!! Sharon

    March 11, 2013 at 3:27 AM

    • Aww – thank you so much Sharon! It is wonderful to see you too! I so appreciate all of your warm and encouraging wishes for me. Certainly I know it was a positive step for me ~ both physically and emotionally too. Much Love and Blessings to you always ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 2:37 PM

  10. Che Dio Ti sia sempre accanto nella tua ricerca vitale di alleviare la tua sofferenza!.
    Con ammirazione, stima e profondo affetto
    Claudio

    March 11, 2013 at 4:15 AM

    • Claudio, La ringrazio molto per la vostra
      benedizione loving caldo.
      Apprezzo tanto!!
      ~
      Amore, Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 2:40 PM

  11. there’s a grace of koan and prayer in your poem. Thank you for your words.

    March 11, 2013 at 4:29 AM

    • Thank you so much Rem. Yes – I believe you are right — a sense of letting go some… and trusting. I appreciate your lovely comment. Love and Blessings ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 10:28 PM

  12. Yaz

    Wow, Robyn, I’m so glad you took this alternative route into the heart and soul of your illness. It’s the only way to heal. Your wisdom will definitely expand; we all grow through this kind of adversity. Lots of love to you.

    March 11, 2013 at 5:08 AM

    • Thank you so much Yaz! Yes, I do agree we sometimes have to just really listen to the inner voice. I know there is no quick fix or miracle cure for my condition, but felt a connection with this method and healthcare practitioners from the start, and I am very happy I followed my instincts. Much Love and gratitude ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 10:31 PM

  13. So proud of your strength. And commitment. And just this inner strength that you radiate even virtually. I wish you only the best things!

    March 11, 2013 at 5:14 AM

    • That is such a lovely comment Chatty Owl — thank you from deep in my heart ~ Love & Blessings to you ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 10:32 PM

  14. I’ve been wondering about the progress of your trip and I am so glad to hear that it was a success (or maybe a good start).

    March 11, 2013 at 5:37 AM

    • Yes Dan — I think at the very least I am feeling a bit more empowered to help myself and be less at the mercy of risky surgery as the only choice.
      Thak you so much dear friend… appreciate you checking in, and sending love ~ RL

      March 11, 2013 at 10:34 PM

  15. victoriaaphotography

    Beautiful words with a wonderful photo following, Robyn.

    I am thrilled to hear you’ve had a positive 6 weeks with a supportive & very caring, experienced team of practitioners. If their smiles in the photos are anything to go, then we know you feel comfortable in their care. I hope their teaching & treatment is the beginning to reduced pain and stronger daily functioning. You must feel very blessed to have your faith restored.

    I know this is only the beginning and no doubt you’ll have a long road of daily practice to complete the course (which may well run for the rest of your life). Life is never easy, but I hope your life will get better & better as the days go by. Keep up the exercises and keep Hope at the forefront of every day in the future – we’re here to support you every step along the way.

    Love & Healing across the miles.
    Vicki
    xox

    March 11, 2013 at 5:54 AM

    • Thank you so much dear Victoria…. I am so glad you enjoyed the poetry and image 🙂 & yes – very happy I embarked on this journey. It was a challenge for me in so many ways and I had my trials while there… but truly it was worthwhile just to have the support and encouragement – and be educated by the this group of brilliant healers. I really have never had this kind of experience before — focussed and thoughtful training on a daily basis. So yes – blessed and optimistic is how I’m feeling — though the pain is still very much in my way – I am hopeful I can continue to have more control of it. I agree – and so did the the folks there, that this will be lifetime commitment of hard work and dedication. I think even if I must entertain more surgery, at least now I have better foundation for recovery as these same principles apply to good mechanics post-op. Of course I pray I will be able to avoid surgery as my body has seen enough for a few lifetimes 🙂 ~ we shall see — but in the meantime, just so grateful for your support and encouragement from across the globe!! Much Love and Blessings always , Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 10:41 PM

  16. So happy you allowed your intuition to guide you. It is wonderful that you are back home. You are an inspiration sweet lady. Best luck to you on this journey to quantum health.

    March 11, 2013 at 6:05 AM

    • Thank you Millie! Yes — I had to go with it this time. i’d had this feeling for over a year and it would not let up… finally I said – why not?! I don’t go on vacations or to parties — I will go spend a chunk of my life learning how to move around the broken parts and see how it goes. It was a wonderful experience and I’m so glad i did it – a big step in a good direction I hope. Much Love and Blessings ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 10:48 PM

      • I am happy you are on the road to recovery. Yey!!! Be well my friend. Good to have you back.

        March 12, 2013 at 5:52 AM

  17. Wow! you are truly amazing! Your courage and persistence is remarkable. I’m truly happy this journey was successful and wish you luck in your journey further.

    March 11, 2013 at 6:37 AM

    • Thank you so very much oawritingspoemspaintings!! Very much appreciate your wonderful wishes and warm words…. I think it was a great beginning for me to attempt taking more control of my condition while avoiding surgical intervention, and I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to work with these folks ~ much love, Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 10:45 PM

  18. Tom

    Robyn: Always wishing you many blessings and peace. All will be well.

    March 11, 2013 at 6:44 AM

    • Thank you so much dearest Tom — that means a lot. Blessings and Love to you friend ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 10:46 PM

  19. You also picked up some poetic inspiration along the way with your delightfully playful snowflakes encapsulated in rhyming couplets and freeze-framed in natures protective hands. Everything looks beautiful Robyn.

    March 11, 2013 at 8:10 AM

    • Aww ~ you are too kind dear Mike. So thrilled to know you appreciated my little poetic ~ emotional metaphor up there 🙂 Yes , I thought this particular image was perfect to reflect how I (similar to snowflakes blowing wildly everywhere) fell into the hands of this fine group of healers…
      The images and poetry always help me ‘crystalize’ that which I’m wanting to explore emotionally. I am very thankful for your special comment today Mike. Much Love your way ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 10:53 PM

  20. Robyn, you are so brave and so inspiring. I’m glad this experience was a good one for you, and I hope that as you continue with the comprehensive home program they’ve provided you with that you will discover even more about yourself and your body and find true healing.x

    March 11, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    • Oh Jewels – thank you so much dear friend. Yes I am pleased with the outcome of my journey ~ and although it’s only the very beginning and I’m not sure where I will ultimately land — I feel empowered to move ahead with continued effort toward rehabilitation. I was fortunate to have this opportunity. Sending you much love ~ Robyn

      March 11, 2013 at 10:58 PM

  21. Renee Braunstein

    Robyn I’m glad that the therapy helped and that it was a good experience for you. I hope you continue to have healing and that you feel better

    March 11, 2013 at 10:00 AM

    • Thank you Renee! Yes – it was great experience to work with these guys — different kind of method than I’ve ever tried… and make more sense to me. I feel a bit more empowered and hope one step at a time will improve enough to do some fun stuff in this lifetime!! xxxooo Love r

      March 12, 2013 at 1:29 AM

  22. Beautiful post Robyn… sending you warm healing energy my friend 🙂

    March 11, 2013 at 10:06 AM

    • Thank you Roxi ~ I so appreciate and am receiving for sure !! xo 🙂

      March 12, 2013 at 1:30 AM

  23. Wow, Robyn, I am so proud of you and happy to hear of your progress. Your poem and photo are a wonderful metaphor for your journey. Welcome back to your home. Keep up the good work. I will look up this doctor on the web.

    March 11, 2013 at 10:41 AM

    • Aww – thank you Jane… It was very cool experience.. required me to be disciplined and show up daily despite the pain. I actually felt best during and right following the sessions… turning on the muscles that needed to work and quieting down the ones that were doing jobs they were not indented to do… now to try to convert that into life. I will keep trying – and pray I can avoid the knife again… I added a link above with Dr. Osar’s channel on youtube so you can explore exercises… they offer instruction free of charge there which is amazing!! Much Love and hope you are doing well! xo RL

      March 12, 2013 at 1:36 AM

  24. Although it might have seemed to take you a long time to get here, you arrived as you were expected, filled with hope and understanding. Always, we are becoming what we decide to be. You are inspiration to all of us. Thank you for sharing the journey. ~ Love you, Bobbie

    March 11, 2013 at 11:25 AM

    • Thank you so much dear Bobbie. I do believe that which you describe… and so agree. I am so happy I was guided this way – and although there are no magical cures for me – this was more than I ever have expected in the way of guidance and education. Truly what I have been looking for for a long time. I feel a sense of empowerment now… which is so much better than before … Thank you for all your support always ~ much Love ~ Robyn

      March 12, 2013 at 1:42 AM

  25. Dear Robyn,
    Thank you for being an inspiration to all! What a journey you’ve had, not just the last 6 weeks, but the years gone by! Your new “Toolbox” as you call it, sounds terrific. I’m so glad you found Dr. Osar and his team.
    You know, dear Robyn, with all you’ve been through, you could have become a bitter, nasty or miserable person instead of the beautiful, gentle and loving warmth you are.
    With Love and respect, Resa xoxo

    March 11, 2013 at 11:41 AM

    • Oh Resa — now I’m getting teary over here! This was such an incredibly generous and beautiful comment. You are so very sensitive annd thoughtful, and hope you always know how much I appreciate you. Yes I am pretty excited to see what kind of strides I can make with my new “toolbox” — I feel like at least now I have a framework to focus on, and no matter where the path may lead, this has to be a great thing. I feel so lucky to have landed in Dr. Osar’s hands finally after so many disappointing experiences in this realm. As for me — bitter and nasty would just not ‘agree’ with me — I have to keep trying and find the light wherever I can. Much Love to you beautiful friend! ~ Robyn

      March 12, 2013 at 1:23 PM

  26. Welcome Home – and i have seen Your progress through posts ………………… You are a woman of amazing inspiration and strength & will 🙂 “Trust ” is the key 😉 always xx C

    March 11, 2013 at 1:39 PM

    • Thank you so much my dearest Cat! So grateful for all the encouragement, and your ever-flowing heart that I’ve gotten to know and love. Yes – “Trust” can unlock so many things ~ Blessings and Love to you lovely lady!! ~x Robyn

      March 12, 2013 at 1:25 PM

      • awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww love your heart Toooooooooo 🙂 best best best best and again – welcome home xo

        March 12, 2013 at 7:34 PM

  27. Kev

    Robyn, I try to read through all the people I follow every week and I find myself sorting them out in a way. Some I read quickly and post a quick like for support most the time. Some I do all the time. Then there are those I spend a little more time on and ponder what they have written. This usually results in a like and a short comment. Then there are the very, very few that I actually look forward to reading. I will always like and probably think of something to say most the time. But that’s not what is important to me with these blogs. What is important is how much I am touched and inspired by the person writing through what is written. Your poems always enthrall me. Yours is one of those very few blogs that I actually look forward to reading, that excite me before I am even on the page. For such pure beauty to come from one who has experienced such antagonizing pain is beyond my capacity to understand. Yet I believe it and it shows in your face. There is an indistinguishable light there!

    March 11, 2013 at 1:47 PM

    • Kev thank you so kindly .. – Truly, I am struggling some to describe my reaction to your comment. As I read your words here I thought to myself – how incredible that we can connect on this level on a regular basis with people we have never met in person. I am more than honored to know you feel this way about my blog ~ which really only started out as a place I could house photos since I was starting to take pictures as a healing hobby. The writing came after a lovely follower (who taught writing) encouraged me to “write my own quotes” — and now it’s expanded into so much more… I could never have dreamed of meeting such wonderful friends, and touching hearts of others who really care, and relate to my plight. I can only tell you how much it means to me to have you so beautifully express yourself here. Oh – also, I was so excited to learn of your recent marriage to the love of your life ~ Blessings and Happiness -and tons of Love to you always ~ Robyn

      March 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM

      • Kev

        Thanks Robyn. I’m glad that someone encouraged you to write. Sometimes we are guided in the most peculiar ways. And I did go through all of your photos firstly before reading funny enough. I can’t remember how I came across your blog, but I’m so glad I did. 🙂

        March 14, 2013 at 12:37 AM

      • Thanks Kev! So appreciate🌻

        March 14, 2013 at 12:39 AM

      • Aww – thank you Kev — that means a lot– you are a sweetheart! Sending good thoughts tonight! ~ RL

        March 16, 2013 at 12:13 AM

  28. I’m happy that you are getting what you need and found a group of medical professions that are able to help you. Your positive outlook is a big plus.

    March 11, 2013 at 3:17 PM

    • Kim thank you so very much. It is a definitely exciting to have a new method to explore — and I’m so grateful for the focus and attention I received from these healing professionals — could not have asked for more. Hoping this finds you doing well ~ I will be wandering over to your place to check on your status soon ~ x Robyn

      March 13, 2013 at 12:03 AM

  29. Pingback: Trust | The Search

  30. Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay! OH I am so pleased you followed your inner voice. It’s a lovely voice and very much worthy of following. Love your spirit and deep wisdom. 🙂 Yay, yay, yay…. again. xo

    March 11, 2013 at 3:26 PM

    • Oh thank you so much Sam! Yes , on this decision I was pretty clear about this inner voice thing! Sometimes it gets jumbled by what other people think I need — but this time it was pretty persistent. I’m glad I did it too ~ Thank you for all your ongoing love and support dear friend ~ means a lot ~ x RL

      March 13, 2013 at 12:48 AM

  31. Welcome Home Miss Robyn.

    March 11, 2013 at 7:33 PM

    • And thank you so much Mr. Jeb — nice to be home at last and with new tricks to try 🙂 ~ x much love

      March 13, 2013 at 12:49 AM

  32. Tara

    I am so proud of you! Love Love Love

    March 11, 2013 at 8:21 PM

    • Thank you Tara my love ~ how are you??!! xxoo

      March 13, 2013 at 12:49 AM

  33. I’m very glad that you’re home…and I hope the healing continues…good thoughts to you, Miss Robyn.

    March 11, 2013 at 8:27 PM

    • Thank you so much Scott. It is nice to be back in the comforts of home… was an adventure I needed to take… very glad I did too! Sending Love ~ RL

      March 13, 2013 at 12:50 AM

      • You’re very welcome…. 🙂

        March 13, 2013 at 8:49 AM

  34. Hi Robyn,
    I can see that you have many comments here and I’m adding another one. Liked the poem at the beginning, and even more, hearing that your trip for therapy was really beneficial and the therapy will permit you to be more active and maybe not free of pain, at least the pain lessened. That’s wonderful news. I really wish I’d known you were in Chicago. I live only about 80 miles away and would like to have dropped in for a visit. Oh, well, maybe next time. ~Hugs~
    Paul

    March 11, 2013 at 9:05 PM

    • Hi dearest Paul ~Thank you~ … always happy to have another comment from YOU! Glad you enjoyed the poem and my little update. Yes – went in with realistic expectations – and as Dr. Osar said — I have been made enough “promises” already and this time the goal was to get me a little more stable and educated about what I can do to make the best of my dilemma. I am hoping I can continue to make strides if I keep up with my homework… oooo really you live not too far from where I was! Well next time I come (I am certain there will be follow-up trips) I will let you know. It was pretty hectic for me while there – but hopefully next time I will be up for a date! Sending Love ~ R

      March 13, 2013 at 12:57 AM

  35. eremophila

    Trusting that inner voice is the most important thing we can ever do – well done! Thrilled with your progress♥

    March 11, 2013 at 9:53 PM

    • Thank you so much dear ermophila ~ I agree… it’s hard sometimes to hear i with all the static around us too ~ takes some tuning in and focus – but worth it for sure!! x RL

      March 13, 2013 at 1:25 AM

  36. You are a rare and special gem RobynLee that when discovered make all marvel at your beauty.
    This beauty is both inside and outside so no matter what you may think it can not be missed!

    March 12, 2013 at 12:06 PM

    • Ever so kind of you dear Eddie ~ thank you so much for your very lovely words to me. Very touched that so much love and support can come from those who are located all over the planet and have gotten to know my heart from the expression of self I’ve shared here on this blog — what a special special place this is… and so happy to know you here my friend ~ Love and Blessings! RL

      March 13, 2013 at 1:27 AM

  37. Dearest Robyn, I’m so pleased to hear some positive news re. your healthcare people and rehabilitation. It makes such a difference to have someone ‘out there’ who really understands your difficulties. I hope so much that it will bring more and more benefits to you. It has already achieved a lot, though, to know that you have that understanding makes you feel less alone. As we both know, pain and illness can be very isolating so I’m glad that you’ve found some good medical support. Much love to you sweet one, Ruth xx

    March 12, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    • Thank you so very much Ruth. Yes – I know you get it with regard to finding experts who listen, are smart and can customize an approach to suit your specific needs. I have a ways to go on the physical side – but as you say – just knowing I’m not alone in my quest for wellness (as I so often have felt over these 20 years) is hugely comforting. Only wish these guys were closer — but I’m thrilled I ventured out to work with them. Much Love to you – and hope you are doing well these days!!!! xo RL

      March 13, 2013 at 1:30 AM

  38. Hello Robyn. They do sound like a most excellent team for you to have worked and learned from. I am happy you have returned home, most special one, and armed with new techniques to assist you throughout each day during your bouts with pain and the control of same. Sending lots and lots of positive thoughts and energy to you dearest friend, all my love, Penny xx (as always, a beautiful poem/message/photograph) Nice personal photos also!

    March 12, 2013 at 4:02 PM

    • Thank you so much Penny. Yes – very happy to have made the journey, and now have to be disciplined to keep up with my homework – even when the pain tries to deter me. I loved learning about the intricate biomechanical aspects of movement – they were awesome teachers, and so very wise. I could feel the connections and it just all made so much sense to me. That said – nobody knows if this will be enough to get me to the level I’d like to be (being able to take walks, go to dinner, sit in a chair etc. – with tolerable pain.)… I would love to avoid surgery #12 – and keep my joints. Will do my best ~ and just grateful for this new hope. I am glad you enjoyed poem/photos and update too — and hope I will be out and about on this blogsphere a bit more often once I get settled in ~ So much Love and huge hug bestest friend 🙂 ~ Robyn

      March 13, 2013 at 1:37 AM

      • Robyn, bestest bud of mine. I believe you will! I really do. Just wanted to share that with you tonight, all my love, 🙂 xx

        March 13, 2013 at 1:45 AM

  39. that is so wonderful to know that you feel being on a right path with your healing, all together. i am so happy for that ~ lovely poem with great photo! always wishing you better and better dear Robyn ~~ much love to you ~~

    March 13, 2013 at 2:00 AM

    • Thank you so much dear poojy. Very thrilled you enjoyed the poem/photo combo too! I know you have a huge heart — can feel it through the screen — so much appreciate all your warm wishes for me ~ Love and Blessings to you, Robyn

      March 13, 2013 at 11:54 PM

  40. Your self-less heart gave you the strength to seek out that place where you might find the true help to lift you from the torment of pain! Your faith is so visionary for you saw from a distance that your hope would be rewarded in a special way! I am so glad that you are home and that there is certain peace and happiness in your words. Your words reveal you radiant smile, telling all, your patience over time has been rewarded as you kept knocking on doors. I pray with a confidence that your world will keep blossoming with your knew found techniques and knowledge! I am forever happy for you, and you will ever be locked within my prayers! God bless you Robyn!

    March 13, 2013 at 3:30 AM

    • Oh Wendell — I am really so touched by your glorious words here. Yes – a “certain peace and happiness” is s a very good way to describe. You are insightful. I know I have lots of work to do yet – but hopeful that I can make more strides and get to a better place. I do believe on the “knocking on doors” approach as you so eloquently put it … guess I have always been a ‘seeker’ and now especially with so much at stake so will not give up easily. Your prayers are so much appreciated dear wonderful friend. Means a great deal to me – and sending you tons of love and blessings as well ~ RL

      March 13, 2013 at 11:58 PM

  41. First of all Robyn, your poetry is pure music but much more wonderful than that was the news you have shared with us. I pray this is just the beginning of a new approach to healing for you. Your courage through your struggles shows no bounds and is a message to us all to never give up. It is apparent that you should always follow your intuition and heart, for therein lie your answers. Best to you always Robyn.

    March 13, 2013 at 10:11 PM

    • So flattered you enjoyed the poetry dear LuAnn ~ Thank you Thank you!! Was very happy to share my hopeful experience – and am overwhelmed with all the blessings and good wishes. Your prayer is so much appreciated in more ways than I can put into words. Yes – never give up– I believe this is the only approach at this point, and to hear the voice of the heart requires quieting a lot of other voices – but so agree — the best answers come from that voice every time!! ~ Much Love to you beautiful soul ~ Robyn

      March 14, 2013 at 12:03 AM

  42. I am so glad it went well. I believe it, that you will be fine. Shine on Robyn.Kindest regards to you!

    March 15, 2013 at 3:54 PM

    • Thank yo uso much TBT ~ 🙂 Yes — working away here on my new program. Trying really really hard to “SHINE” ~ it is the only way. Much Love your way tonight ~ RL

      March 16, 2013 at 12:14 AM

  43. Robyn, wowwwww! I have sooo been wondering how you’d “return”…in your heart and body and spirit..and in your writing. Robyn, the innate delight in you…the innate softness and LIGHT in you so inspires me…and so many others (as you can see from all your fans!). I think of you often as I journey through this post concussive syndrome. I have only dealt with it for a few months. What a beautiful person you are, Robyn. I am glad to “know” you through your blog. Many blessings, Lisa
    http://www.barefootbarn.com

    March 15, 2013 at 7:57 PM

    • Hey Lisa – have been thinking of you a lot too! How are you feeling? Yes – home safe and sound – but still so much to sort out in this body of mine. So glad I had this experience though ~ learned a great deal of what I consider invaluable body knowledge. You are so generous and kind my friend – I am hoping and praying you are well on your way to recovery with this concussion …. will be over to your place soon too! Much Love and Blessings Always, RL

      March 16, 2013 at 12:18 AM

  44. It’s so great to learn more about your recent endeavor Robyn. I was so curious this whole time as to how much this was helping you and how different it was from other things you had done in the past but your post explains it all. I’m thrilled that you had such a positive experience with this team and let’s be grateful to them doing whatever it is they did that helped you so much. Kudos to them. Hopefully there are things from your experience you can take with you and do while you’re back at home? I hope this can be more than just the experience it was in Chicago and you get some continued healing from it. Best wishes and so much love to you -AB

    March 15, 2013 at 8:40 PM

    • Thank you so very much Arash! Yes — I would love to see continued healing. I’m still at a point of knowing when I do the work that it’s “right” for me — and my body is saying – yes- this is how it’s got to be…. but I slip back into old pain patterns shortly after a session. So at this point it is nearly 24/7 that I’m cueing myself and jumping on my treatment table to do corrective exercises. It’s a lot of work – but I’m willing …. as I know you understand. I’m really grateful to have had the chance to learn this method – and yes – entirely different than anything else I’ve experienced… and as we’ve spoken about — based in many of the strategies you too are employing. Need to order that book you told me about too now that I’m home. Thank you for your encouragement and friendship — so much appreciated — and hope your cold is fading out as I type this!! Much Love and Light always ~ Robyn

      March 16, 2013 at 12:23 AM

      • Thankfully my cold faded fast. Those strategies are so important and I hope that however it is that you improved, that you stay with it and were hopefully able to harness some of that healing energy and use it with you now. Yes definitely get that book! If you were here now I would just lend it to you 🙂 Much love dear Robyn -AB

        March 21, 2013 at 2:09 AM

      • So happy you are feeling better~ that is great great news… will order the book right away! I’m working hard here but seems 1 step forward 2 steps back… trying to keep the faith, which I know you know all about. Where are you geographically btw? I never did know? ~ Much Love ~RL

        March 22, 2013 at 11:42 AM

      • Hi Robyn. Sorry to hear you’re struggling a bit but just keep putting that foot forward, no matter what. Things will get better as long as you keep at it and try not to let those steps back do too much damage. I say that knowing that I have very dark moments too. I’m not always optimistic and positive, but if I get too trapped in the negativity, it just destroys me.

        I’m just outside San Francisco. How about you? -AB

        March 22, 2013 at 7:12 PM

      • I agree – and today was probably my best day since returning, so grateful for that. I’m in NY about 2 hours from NYC — beach community(reflected in lots of my photos)… Actually had my last round of surgeries in SFO though ~ really liked the city!! One day when all is well we will make travel plans and meet! 🙂

        March 22, 2013 at 7:51 PM

      • Hi again Arash – I see 2 books on Amazon with that title (The Brain That Changes Itself)… one is maybe stories exemplifying the principles of this — which do you suggest I read?? ~ Sending Love ~ RL

        March 22, 2013 at 11:53 AM

  45. Beautiful words and photo, Robyn! Wonderful to hear you had such a positive experience, and I hope that your healing continues. Sometimes we have to take healthcare in our own hands, be persistent, listen to our inner voices, and find what works for us. So glad you found this Robyn.
    I also was disappointed with the medical profession and western medicine with many of my conditions – they said they could no longer help me, and wanted to fill me with medication. I also learned that the therapies that help most people, like physical therapy, was not right for me. It was making my condition worse. I needed a gentler more sensitive approach. I finally found people who are helping me now in alternative therapies, who are compassionate and dedicated to helping me progress and heal, and providing me with answers, finally. As with you, there is still a long way to go, but provides hope.

    I love hearing about this uplifting experience for you, Robyn! Many, many hugs!

    March 19, 2013 at 5:59 PM

    • Oh Fergi – somehow missed this comment but just found it! Thank you so much dear friend. I agree with what you have expressed here. And sometimes we have to our own healer — take little bits and pieces from various sources and let them simmer and stew until the epiphanies arise. It is very hard. I am glad you have found some alternative/more sensitive approaches too. I think having support that is wise and caring is so important as we travel these difficult roads… Compassion is huge!! I am just totally ecstatic you seem to have come across this kind of help – which will bring you closer and closer to where you want to be, I am sure. Thank you for all your support and encouragement — and please keep me posted on this latest discovery… always open to new approaches here too! Love and hugs ~ Robyn

      March 22, 2013 at 11:46 AM

  46. Wow! This is really amazing Robyn 😀 I’m so happy for you!

    March 22, 2013 at 7:05 PM

    • Thank you dear Amanda ~ sorry just seeing this tonight — sending lots of sunshine your way!☀

      March 27, 2013 at 12:35 AM

  47. Good to read that you did this. Wishing you smooth days and loving nights. Sweet poem you included in this post.

    March 23, 2013 at 2:06 PM

    • Thanks so much Mike!! Very much appreciate your thoughtful words and good wishes for me. Also happy you enjoyed the poem…
      Much Love ~ RL 🌈

      March 27, 2013 at 12:33 AM

  48. Hello Robyn.
    It has been a while since I’ve been able to really look outside my life and be present to read your blog. You are truly a woman of wondrous grace. Your story here, you burning spirit that does not give up, or give in, but rather continues to search, and be open is such a gift you have. How wonderful that through the depths of your searching you found this wonderful group of professionals who have accompanied you, and opened you to new ways of understanding your amazing body. It is so true as you share, that when we are accompanied in life and healing is offered on multiple levels—especially when we are able to understand ourselves more deeply and how absolutely amazing our created bodies are, no matter what is going on inside them…that we really can begin to heal. It may not be exactly the healing we imagined, but it certainly is healing. And you seem to have discovered this on a much deeper level within yourself since your trip.
    Congratulations as well on your pain series poem and photography. I am quite certain you will be an inspiration, and offer a feeling of companioning to those who view the pain arts.
    Blessing of continued healing, and new found joys of life,
    Erin

    April 2, 2013 at 4:31 PM

    • Oh Erin — I have thought of you often…. hope you are doing well. Thank you so much for your extraordinary, and very thoughtful words today. I so do agree that healing occurs slowly and on so many different levels, at different stages along ones journey. I learned many things on this trip that I know that, say 5 years ago, I could never have begun to understand. I know there is more in store for me — and I work every day to move forward. So appreciate your loving congratulations on the exhibit display. It was first time for anything like that for me… so exciting – and I feel really good about being a voice in the organization’s important mission. Art truly is a vehicle for healing and connection. I’m blessed to have come to discover this as well, and to meet compassionate wonderful people like you along the way. Warmest thanks to you dear friend – and sending love and blessings to you and yours…. x Robyn

      April 3, 2013 at 10:27 PM

  49. most welcome!

    April 8, 2013 at 6:53 PM

I am most grateful for your thoughts and comments:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s