Revealing ~ part II
“Quite often, the direction we face reveals not only
the sight before us, but something richer and deeper still.”
~Robyn Lee
Here I share with you another photo I shot yesterday, a companion to Revealing « THROUGH THE HEALING LENS in order to ‘reveal’ to you more of the environment in which these photos were created. Enjoy 😉
Much Love ~ RL!!
Revealing
“Quite often, the direction we face reveals not only
the sight before us, but something richer and deeper still.”
~ Robyn Lee
I shot the above self-portrait from the deck, during my boat ride home Sunday.
Please note that my eyes are facing the direction opposite the sea…’twas not a mirror,
but rather a window with a view inside the vessel.
And thus, the image inspired my quote today.
~ RL
click here to view another photo from this series that will reveal more
Revealing ~ part II « THROUGH THE HEALING LENS
Illusion
“Sometimes I need to get lost in a field of illusion
in order to finally find my most
authentic self.”
~Robyn Lee
I Want To Know
It doesn’t interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others.
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.
I have been told, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.
~David Whyte
This poem entitled, Self Portrait was written by David Whyte, and is an excerpt from his book
Fire In The Earth. It resonated with me as I reflected upon my feature image today, which portrays my own shadow during a visit to the woods, where I often go to contemplate life’s hard questions. Hope you enjoyed.
Much Love ~ RL
Click here to read an interesting analysis of Whyte’s poem:
Analysis of “Self-Portrait” « THROUGH THE HEALING LENS
My Blessed Tub
When the going gets rough,
I light a candle, turn on some
soul-soothing music, and soak in a
hot saltwater bath.
It’s such an important ritual for me, one I return to over and over again each night.
Last night I was especially blessed to have a full moon, and mesmerizing clouds floating peacefully in my window’s view.
Today was a better day…and thus, I wanted to share.
Love & Gratitude to all~
Robyn Lee
ps: Top Tub Tune – She has the voice of an angel.
Ong Namo means: I bow to my higher self (or teacher within)…
Future
“The future is born of those thoughts and feelings
we are allowing into our experience
right now.”
~ Robyn Lee
Could not help but notice this storefront down the block from the center where I had my spine procedure Thursday. I took pause for a moment, wondering if anyone truly had the ability to see into the future, and would it even serve me to have such information? Quickly I took a photo and moved on. While prepped and waiting, I thought more about the concept of future, and conjured up the quotation (above). A certain calm came over me at this point.
Sending everyone gratitude and appreciation for all the wonderful wishes, and wise comments shared on my blog post Wednesday. They really gave me a much-needed lift. I so appreciate the exceptional sense community we share here!
As an update, I did well with the procedure (barring a few moans and screams) and will know how effective it was over the next several days. If it works, my family will need to hide my roller blades :).
In the meantime…still moving in the direction of hope and faith, and paying attention to those thoughts and feelings I’m inviting into my experience right now!
Much Love ~ RL
Doubt
“Doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is one element of faith.”
~ Paul Tillich
Heading back to New York City for a few days to have the mri and spinal procedure that was scheduled two weeks ago (see: Release « THROUGH THE HEALING LENS).
Anticipation and anxiety have been tormenting my soul these last few weeks. I think two weeks was too long to expect me to keep “releasing” the questions that linger and haunt. I haven’t had my spine mucked with in a few years… and over the past 19, have been poked, prodded, carved and dissected, without resolve more times than I care to remember. Why are we back to the spine again when so many experts assured me just 16 months ago the issue was my hip that needed carving? And why did that hip surgery result in worse pain and dysfunction? Seems like lots of guess-work taking place, and this all makes my head churn.
So… here I am, trying to find my optimism, but I confess…facing some pretty gloomy shadows of doubt. I am working to let go of the questions and have faith, but am having a tough time given the pain levels I’ve been living.
Nevertheless, there are some very important life-occasions coming up around here (namely my daughter’s college graduation in Boston entailing travel and exciting ceremonies, celebrations~so proud of that kid!! I really want to be there for her, and be a part of it all (for me), and thus, agreed to the upcoming medical experiments to try to get the pain levels reduced enough to allow me to join in on the good stuff ahead. Unfortunately, I have no rescue medication to turn to, as my body completely rejects narcotic pain drugs which produce severe spasm of my bile ducts (more painful than a long drawn out heart attack). Even more the reason I’m really needing this spine procedure to buy me some pain relief.
And so, I’m attempting to confront the doubts and fears, and conjure up some serious faith for my journey. Was happy to stumble on Tillich’s quote above, as it made me aware that doubt and faith may indeed be interconnected.
Hoping that this procedure will lead to a revelation of sorts, and at least get me into a mode of higher functioning so I can participate in the festivities, and perhaps even gain insight as to what structures are causing the worst of my pain. If it works well, I’m hoping I can be more aggressive with my rehab program and, of course, take on more adventurous blog photo shoots!
Thanks for everyone’s good energy blown my way on this one. I can feel it, and truly do appreciate.
Farewell for now…. sorry will be at least a few days before I can post again… but in the meantime
wishing all of you good things while I’m away!
Much Love ~ Robyn Lee
Equilibrium
We can be sure that the greatest hope
for maintaining equilibrium in the face of any
situation rests within ourselves.
~Francis J. Braceland
On a quest to find my own equilibrium one day, I took a short walk in my neighborhood, and met up with the Stone Stranger featured in this post. I make the same loop around the corner frequently, yet I have never seen Stone Stranger before. He was standing there quietly, mostly out of view, against the side of a vacant home. Struck by his asymmetrical posture (much like my own) I stopped to look more closely.
I observed he had a heart-shaped face and uneven jaw line, just like mine. I also noticed that he was clearly unweighting one of his hips (hmm?). There was a slight twist to his torso, and his pelvis was rotated forward on one side only, as he balanced a sizable load on his skull.
I could not help but wonder if he had pain… invisible pain, unobvious to those admiring his beauty and grace.
Intrigued by this encounter, I wondered why this Stone Stranger beckoned me to his remote hiding place this warm April afternoon. If he could speak to me, I thought, what might he say ?
Farewell Stone Stranger…until we meet again.
~Robyn Lee
Transform
To harden the earth
the rocks took charge:
instantly
they grew wings:
the rocks
that soared:
the survivors
flew up
the lightning bolt,
screamed in the night,
a watermark,
a violent sword,
a meteor.
The succulent sky
had not only clouds,
not only space smelling
of oxygen,
but an earthly stone
flashing here and there
changed into a dove,
changed into a bell,
into immensity,
into a piercing wind:
into a phosphorescent arrow,
into salt of the sky.
~Pablo Neruda
This riveting narrative by Pablo Neruda is a favorite of mine. Hope you enjoyed it alongside today’s feature image.
Have a great today!
~Robyn Lee
Pain Shadow II
On the deserted beach
I walk with a pain shadow.
Hip searing with each step
I move forward slowly.
My joint tears away.
A sharp arrow pierces through me.
I stop to find stillness yet the
pain shadow follows.
Gazing into the ocean,
I inhale deeply
then exhale with force
trying to release the pain.
But it won’t let go.
I must abandon this pain shadow.
This constant companion.
This unwelcome thing.
That has attached itself to me.
19 years of unrelenting pain.
Countless attempts to escape
to normal days, when the beach
meant walks and waves; picnics and laughter.
I climb the wooden stairs to look down
on the wide expanse of shoreline.
In pain I stand tall above the sprawling
desolate beach that goes on forever.
I envision myself burying the pain shadow
beneath the sandy surface,
deep in a restrictive dark hole
where it can no longer define my world.
And in that moment I am free.
Pain Shadow
NOTE: press this link Pain Shadow « THROUGH THE HEALING LENS to learn the deeper meaning behind this photo
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